Sunday, January 30, 2005

I met the small, squeakily southern-accented, man in the mall parking lot, and for several minutes of sucking and repetitive wrist motions, I was rewarded with a bottle of twenty Oxies. Oxies! I haven't had them in so long, a year perhaps? I had a one bottle of Oxies, along with two of hydrodone and a massive bag of weed in a hiding place in my room, that I can safely assume was discovered by a concerned and prying father when The Unfortunate Thing happened.

I had been looking forward to using my first flavored condom, strawberry, and was rather disappointed. The flavor was mild and fleeting, but the hot pink shade was adorable.

-------------------------

The boy with whose wallet and virginty I left that party text messages me several times a week; he wants to get together. I reckon I'll take him up on it, I need more exposure to people my own age.

This is what I end up doing at 3am

So yea I messed with photoshop. It started out by actully fixing up images... then editing them.. and now I have a few where Lauras got 5 noses, Steves got a few extra eyeballs, and yea I went a little crazy. Ill upload those tomorrow. This is the only real one I got done.
Before


After

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Cockfighting

guess who doesnt have to go to prom

me

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Really, look at it.

we need to make this a bit less pink and then the school uniform.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

MORE SPAM...

Kumqwat.

Sounds enough like cum and twat to make me happy.

Imagine what people must think if they search for those words and find this?

Google is great.

Rant...

I would just like to know why, if the Iraqi insurgents are so bent on not having elections, why the fuck didn't they fight to defend their country in the first place? Why didn't they actually try to keep their almight Suddam in power? Isn't it his supporters that keep bombing the fuck out of everything?

Know why? Cuz they're ASSHOLES!

You can't force people to stand up for themselves. If you ask me, that's the biggest mistake Dubya made.

*ducks*

One asshole we won't have to hear from...

Michael Moore didn't get any Oscar nominations for Fahrenheit 9/11.

Didn't he make some stink about wanting it to be nominated for Best Picture?

Hehehehehe. Such an ass.
24 UPDATE

Well, we were totally wrong. Jack defied orders and went in there and killed three dozen bad guys. So now Secretary of Defense William Devane and his daughter, Romantic Plot Element Devane, are safe, but the terrorists are about to melt down every nuclear plant in the United States, using a Top Secret device called a Nuclear Plant Remote Control Meltdowner, which exists for totally plausible plot reasons that were covered very quickly last night. So the only hope for the survival of the nation is that Jack, acting alone, can stop the terrorists. It should be no problem, because there are only 104 nuclear plants, and Jack is a really fast driver.

Whats worse, that they're digital bagpipes, or that they're MIDI format?

24 UPDATE

Well, we were totally wrong. Jack defied orders and went in there and killed three dozen bad guys. So now Secretary of Defense William Devane and his daughter, Romantic Plot Element Devane, are safe, but the terrorists are about to melt down every nuclear plant in the United States, using a Top Secret device called a Nuclear Plant Remote Control Meltdowner, which exists for totally plausible plot reasons that were covered very quickly last night. So the only hope for the survival of the nation is that Jack, acting alone, can stop the terrorists. It should be no problem, because there are only 104 nuclear plants, and Jack is a really fast driver.

Whats worse, that they're digital bagpipes, or that they're MIDI format?

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Friday, January 21, 2005

the Army is stupid...

Mother and I seem to be in possession of the underwear of somebody named Ramsey. Standard brown bun-huggers... perhaps he misses them?

Photoshop

Opinions?




Coolest Toy Ever...

And School Goes On

A skint Londoner has decided to offer the eBayer who has everything - except space in which to store more online bargains - the chance to secure, well, absolutely nothing. Read on:

This is a fantastic, once in a lifetime opportunity to buy absolutely nothing! The successful bidder will receive absolutely nothing direct

The perfect gift for the person who has everything.
Takes up no space. Easy to store.
Helps fight capitalism. Possibly.
No postage required.
Environmentally friendly, 100% organic and edible.


And What you'll Wish you'd known in High School

Key Quote: "I'm not saying there's no such thing as genius. But if you're trying to choose between two theories and one gives you an excuse for being lazy, the other one is probably right."

Key Quote 2: (for everyone who's not writing us a script because "i'm not sure what you want"
"The best protection is always to be working on hard problems. Writing novels is hard. Reading novels isn't. Hard means worry: if you're not worrying that something you're making will come out badly, or that you won't be able to understand something you're studying, then it isn't hard enough. There has to be suspense."

Thursday, January 20, 2005

wow the lauren girl updated again
such a republican but still, these are two awesome posts

inauguration day

"and woah"

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

I am Ea!! HEAR ME ROAR!!

Something the geeks will appreciate

along the lines of the "hacking program"


(This refers to "24")
OK, you know Erin Driscoll, the extremely hardass woman who is Jack Bauer's boss and is always wrong but still is apparently in charge of the entire U.S. intelligence system? Does it get on your nerves that every time an alarming plot development occurs -- which of course is every three minutes -- she says something like, "OK, I need the names of everybody in California who has ever had a root canal," and immediately one of the random computer-tappers around her goes "I'm on it" and starts tapping away, and the information pops right up on the screen, and there's never any computer problem, and they never have to install Windows XP Service Pack 2? Well, it gets on our nerves.

and Just Weird

Monday, January 17, 2005

OH MY GOD YOU FUCKS

okay look, you fucks are so boring and so is my life.

(im making this sound like a bit more than it is, but im trying to prove a point)

the wisconsin thing, something stupid and relativley cheap to do, would have been fun, everyones already giving up on it.

i want to get out of here so fuck all you ill do it myself, but you know i love to bet on stuff, so maybe you can get your lazy asses to at least hold up your end of a bet, come on how much is everyone putting down that i wont do anything at all interesting by...lets say the end of june?

Freakin nerfhearders!

i like how i can't get on the computer for the weekend so you all actually start posting.

and i saw laura trying to make the butt go away so here it is again.


This is actually something interesting, at least read a few paragraphs
Star Wars Guy

Key Quote: "Probably the most elemental meaning he derives from the movies' various editions is Yoda's, "Do or do not. There is no try."
It fits in with his approach to life: "If you're going to do something, do it right. Don't half-ass it.""
thats one thing i can agree with, if not camping out for 138 days.

And some woman in an Italian castle was pissed about how they treated her husband, so she took it upon herself to ruin their business by making ghost noises and scaring away guests.

IT ACTUALLY FUCKING WORKED.

fucking italians.

ADDENDUM: Laura, and anyone else, you were not born in Italy nor have you lived in Italy for any significant length of time. so shut up.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

My Computer Graphics project

Ten minutes later, I'm happy...

"Michael laughed along with everyone else, and took Mr Eastwood's comments in the lighthearted spirit in which they were given."

Yea... until he's dead. *grin*

DEATH THREATS!!!!!!!

One more post gets rid of the ass...

Go figure that it's almost four in the morning on a weekend and I'm the only one awake and online.

Rob, you suck at life. I was counting on you to be up and stop me from listening to depressing music.

Rob is the king of Monopoly

OMG ed you man have beaten me twice at the game of life but i beat you

AT MONOPOLY
IN UNDER AN HOUR
AND YOU HAD BOARDWALK AND PARKS PLACE

I OWN. EVERYONE IM ED NOW AND TELL HIM I AM KING.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Let's try a list...

Ed will like this -

Great Vietnam Songs
1. Bruce Springsteen - Born in the USA
2. CCR - Fortunate Son
3. Billy Joel - Goodnight Saigon
4. Simon and Garfunkle - He Was My Brother
5. Hair the Musical... the entire musical
6. Kansas - Carry On My Wayward Son

Continue...
Fuck this game! You win grandma! Its 3 in the morning! Im sitting on baltic with crap and I have luxury taxes out the ass!

continued.

The rules of the game are changed. You are all now to list every song that makes you think of anything BUT vietnam. The winner is the one with most points. Points are determined on how opposite the song relates to vietnam.

GO

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

NOW here's something to start a heated debate!

THIS BE A GOOD POINT

Jim R. Pirtle writes to ask how come we say that a person whose head has been cut off has been "beheaded." Jim thinks it should be "DE-headed." He points out that "BE-head" means the same as "DE-capitate," which makes no sense. Jim thinks "behead" should mean "put the head back on."

"Why this bugs me so much, I don't know," states Jim.

We're 100 percent with Jim on this and think Congress should look into it.

Firey Acorns

this was so awesome i had to post it,
especially cause this kid is even better than i was when i had to do this at 10 years old, i never would have said crap back then, although now...

EDUCATION ITEM OF THE DAY

I was packing my 10 year old son's backpack and I came across his homework. The assignment was to take the spelling list and write sentences for each word. Here is the list. I swear, I am not making this up. -- Nikki Nelson-Hicks

[List by Daniel]

Sorry- I feel sorry for the bird that is about to get hit by that truck.

Duty- I feel it is my duty to fight squirrels.

Fiery- They are hitting me with their fiery acorns.

Ugly- Those birds are pretty ugly up in that in tree.

Empty & Hungry- Odd, the fridge is completely empty and I am hungry.

Turkey- Man, some turkey would be nice right now.

Envy- I am getting envy from the guy that doesn't have to do this.

Lazy- I am too lazy to get up and turn on the tv so I use the remote.

Honey- Honey is disgusting, bees throw it up and then we put it in a jar and eat it.

Lonely- Life is very lonely without videogames.

Hockey- Hockey is the only game that lets you break bones without getting sued.

Marry- Marry...what sentence has the word marry in it?

Valley- I will throw this off in a valley and into a river when I am done with it.

Fifty- On the fiftyth day of Christmas, my teacher gave me this lame assignment.

Medley- Medley, what the crap does medley mean?

Ready- Get ready for stuff to happen- big, big stuff.

Movie- Can't think of a sentence for movie either.

Monkey- Monkeys...who doesn't like monkeys?

Imaginary- I hope this stupid assignment is imaginary.

Mercy- When I take over the world, I will show no mercy.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Stifin bitches that i dont post....

Improvised on Steves Idea(s)




Saturday, January 08, 2005

Super 70's my ass...

Will somebody please tell me what the fuck Welcome Back, Kotter is about?

They've got a Puerto Rican, a black guy, an Italian and Horseshack. They all talk like assholes and I can't figure out where Mr. Kotter went that he came back from!

so ya

how bout that whole ... ya i got nothin...

Thursday, January 06, 2005

FINE FINE FINE

laura yelled at me for posting on here too much even though i only do cause nobody else does. so i guess ill start updating my blog again soon

anyway, rob and rich should like this (CAUSE ED'S IN FUCKING COLOMBIA)

LINK

Stupid Awesome Cooling solution

TURBINE OF DOOM

The thing looks awesome, they have a bunch of pics there, but apparently its crap.
asus bastards.
and i know you wont read through the whole thing, but apparently "potentiometer" just means "knob"

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

1982 TIME Man of the Year

The computer. no shit.

WOW

wow i stuck that girls blog in my blogs folder cause id dint know hwere to put it, and i looked at it today, and WOW people must need some serious therapy.

"Who wouldn't want a girl's most intimate items? The thought of you enjoying my bras and panties is extremely exciting to me. I'm also happy to honor special requests, including but not limited to: clean, worn (how many days, it's up to you), worn with or without deoderant, masturbated in, pissed in, and period-stained. I am at the command of your perverse imagination!"
random awesome ass

























Tuesday, January 04, 2005

LIKE THE BEATLES? have $80,000 laying around?

Go to Ebay!

also, how a non-geek describes the evil of firewalls.

"I am beginning to suspect that the way "antivirus" and "firewall" software protects you is that it makes it basically impossible for your computer to (1) send email; (2) receive email; (3) use your home network; or (4) contact the Internet in any manner. It's a lot like turning your computer off, except you have to pay for it, and then periodically pay to "update" it so that it can continue effectively preventing you from using your computer.

Not that I am frustrated or anything."

Monday, January 03, 2005

AWESOME

Go to the links. they're good.

First, hate mail of the year. Clearly lacking some sense of humor.

im sure the article is good, but i dont feel like finding it atm.

lauren continues to show how bitchy she is on her blog.

and Headline Of The Year

A spokesman said: "It would be of little use to anyone else."

I'm sure someone reading this can find a hilarious use for it.

P.S. their phone numbers have WAY too many digits
First, hate mail of the year. Clearly lacking some sense of humor.

im sure the article is good, but i dont feel like finding it atm.

lauren continues to show how bitchy she is on her blog.

and Headline Of The Year

A spokesman said: "It would be of little use to anyone else."

I'm sure someone reading this can find a hilarious use for it.

P.S. their phone numbers have WAY too many digits

Anyone free on Saturday?

“ The Haircut “

Columbia University Graduate Film student is looking for actors of all ages and types to take part in the big movie theater scene. The shoot is on January 8, from 11am to 5 pm at Dodge Hall –116th and Broadway, 5th floor, room 511. No pay, but tape/dvd is provided.




Yea... can tell theres probably very little acting involved and I just want to get close to a set to watch someone make a movie. Anyone else wanna go?

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Look out! its a condecending whore!

Ebanned

read these blogs

"Thing is, it seems that all but the few who know me well seem to think I'm really poor. Maybe it's because they're poor, and they figure I'm one of them."

life as lauren (the hooker)

laurens panties

AWESOME VIDEO