Thursday, March 31, 2005

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

well ... instead of the chihuahua gangbang i was planning for my daughter's dog

.... i'm going to get her spayed instead.

i know that's fucked up. not the spaying part.

Chris weeks is the awesomest photographer. and you people are star whores so youll appreciate it too. And laura hes watching amelie

i've loved this girl (Natalie Portman) ever since Leon, The Professional. The definition of hot.

And VERY nice! i mentioned she was hot, right?

ellen paige
"i talked to her like she was 13.

she caught on and promptly advised she was 18."

For the Angelina Jolie Fetishists
I went to the premiere of alexander to shoot one of the most beautiful girls on the planet ... angelina. yeah, she's strange. which actress isn't? she must have signed autographs for good 20 minutes. she loves her fans. compare that to julia roberts.
this one with the boobs

This looks like something youd see of an old b&w actor or something

fight club

colin (farrell)is actually a very nice person. funny as shit.

i love when designers "go off the deep end."

each "booth" had a different theme. ballet in a shower!

daily show

laura, new desktop for you


rich go in vent and tell arz youre photoshopping some awesome picture you found on the internet for your website, and its going to look awesome.

laura say anything like that that would make sense with you.

arz is the jewish copyright gestapo

Question of the day

if hitler and and a nazi were standing next to each other and you were with your good buddy and hitler said shoot your buddy and the nazi did it, would you kill hitler and ignore the nazi?

An allegedly drunk driver with a taste for trickery failed to foil a police breathalyzer machine after stuffing his mouth full of FECES.

..."I don't think alcohol alone would make you do something as disgusting as that," South Simcoe Police Insp. Tom McDonald said.

up for 30 something hours, slept for 21 hours

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

fucking awesome body paint

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Just when I thought it couldn't be possible to hate Bush anymore than I already do.... (Sorry Laura)

I was already in a horrible mood. That just skyrocketed my anger into utter shock.
Prosperity. Security. Development. Yeah, how exactly would F-16s, given to a nation full of terrorists, actually do that again?

*sigh* On a good note.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBBO!!!!!

Friday, March 25, 2005

Cuz im as free as a bird now

yep... im actually posting here... and oh yes, it will be very random...

banana peels are slippery so we set them on fire...

what happens if you spray flowers at an oncomming truck? it turns into a butterly of course...

cd cases can be melted using pillows...

textbooks have a life expectancy of 17 oranges...

my subwoofers goes BOOM BOOM BOOM! dot dot dot

mr potato head stares into my dining room lamp waaaaay too much.. hes gonna totally lose his vision, he needs sunglasses, there we go...

my left mouse button is held on by tape thats slowly peeling off...

i need to cover my lights with red wrapping so they arent pink anymore...

my planes still defend my computer, dont fuck with them, theyll throw their wheels at you...

if rulers rule, and pencils pencil, and pens pen... then whats the fourth root of a mexican armidillo?

my airconditioner makes things cold, its like magic...

what if mirrors lied to us?

gloves go on hands, hats go on heads...

songs over...

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Mother FuCK

can't go to Ea's movie party thing on saturday cause i have to go to brothers friends barmitzvah

but the point, i have like this display board, the kind you used in elementary school to go up behind a skateboard deck that everyone is going to sign whatever on. i have to come up with something to put on it like "Nicks barmitzvah sign in blah blah blah" something "funky" as my mom so eloquently put it, and i have no idea at all and ill be at tjkdfl;jksadl;fj the end of the story goes, give me ideas someone, everyone
Laura: you know...
Laura: i want a big bed
ElBifin: cause youre a slut?
Laura: with flannel sheets
Laura: and a lot of pillows and blankets
Laura: because then
Laura: i will sleep naked
ElBifin: awesome
ElBifin: but why do you need all that
Laura: because
Laura: i'm cold
Laura: but i hate waking up with wedgies

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Wow this guy is great, and people are idiots

Monday, March 21, 2005

Image hosted by

SOMEONE has to have an opinion on this

my moms been watching the news about the woman on the feeding tube that wants to die but bush and people are trying to stop her.

lets put it this way, I think that terry schiavo should regain conciousness, meet Bush, and PUNCH HIM IN the face, and when everyone is all schocked, she should faint, collapse and EXPLODE, i think that that would be the only appropriate ending to this.

Sunday, March 20, 2005


Manhunt in Prep Pt. 2

Rob: 1. TEAMMATE ONE: **edit** MOB IS THAT?!


TEAMMATE ONE: That loud ringing howl off to our left.

ME: I don't see anything.

TEAMMATE TWO: Is it on your map?

TEAMMATE ONE: No, I just hear it screaming. Scary **edit**.

ME: What's it sound like?

TEAMMATE ONE: Like a dewback, but loud and nonstop, like the sound is stuck. GOD, they need to fix the bugs in this god **edit** game.

ME: Is it still there if you turn off your speakers? Because if so, it could be not so much a dewback as it is a fire alarm.


Rob: TEAMMATE ONE: What are those?

TEAMMATE TWO: Ronto. Do not agitate the Ronto.

ME: I concur. Do not agitate the Ronto.

[gunfire, grunts]


ME (SILENT GROUPCHAT): Well, I don't want to presume anything, but I'll venture a guess at someone agitated the Ronto.

TEAMMATE FOUR (SILENT GROUPCHAT): lol u guyz see mee slap that greenn mob? bizotch

ME (SILENT GROUPCHAT): And furthermore, I believe we have a leading agitation candidate.

Big B = Rich

Big B: how about ishut up
Big B: convince me
Big B: whats their for me to see
ElBifin: its fucking awesome
ElBifin: what are you doing, fucking madman quest?
Big B: nnoooo more like im tired outta my mind
Big B: and im crazy
Big B: and im not wearing a shirt
Big B: haha
Big B: now we need a clown some bubble gum a mouse trap and a ball and chain and were set for fun
ElBifin: ?
Big B: draw up some blue prints this one is a dooozy
ElBifin: what the hell are you talking about
ElBifin: go to sleep

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Latest Idea from Chris

as i told rob, chris was telling me when he was in high school they played manhunt in school

in the morning, you put everyones names into a hat and everyone picks one, and during the day you have to shoot the person whos name you have, you can't shoot anyone else, even if theyre trying to get you. hour period is automatic cease-fire. someone just needs to find out where we can get those suction cup dart guns or if not, cheap water pistols.
just got home from chris's, dead tired cause we rode bikes everywhere and i was riding a borrowed one that was probably made before i was born and the pedals, gears and various other things were broken, so it took alot more out of me, but now i want to ride more to get to be less of a lazy ass. so ed you have to find your bike.
came in, noones home, computer is on, my downloads are still running, beautiful, but i have 3 fucking xfires from madman as usual saying come back even though i wasnt in the same fucking borough as my computer, then
jess: "hey"
devin: "are there stairs in your house?"
Rocky: "here"
laura: steve you're a noooooob because you took the bus when i would have driven you home
*** Auto-response sent to laura: OMGWTFBBQGRASSKTHXBYE
*** "laura" signed off at Fri Mar 18 16:23:35 2005.
*** "laura" signed on at Fri Mar 18 16:26:47 2005.
*** "Laura" signed off at Fri Mar 18 17:29:39 2005.
*** "laura" signed off at Fri Mar 18 18:25:16 2005.
*** "laura" signed on at Fri Mar 18 22:45:39 2005.
*** "laura" signed off at Fri Mar 18 22:54:24 2005.

and fucking 48 hours of downloading and its still not done. you know what I'm talking about rob.

note to self. download all ATHF and stray cats. (rockabilly stuff, figured youd appreciate that bit of irony rich you freak.)

Thursday, March 17, 2005


Got accepted into brooklyn, moms all happy, and i say to eric over her shoulder, "More school, DAMNIT"

and why are there so many words on that paper? i just needed "Congratulations", now i have to go back and read all of those stupid words. stupid college.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005


Yes, Roma is here. I've been on this nonsense, just never posted before now. Since it's my first post, I think this would only be fitting:

for the girls

for the boys (and the girls)

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

WATCH in amazement

As an Entire boat or a truckload of computers goes through a shredder!

Monday, March 14, 2005

Fucking awesome

im not sure if i want the regular or the Riot control version

Sunday, March 13, 2005





Thursday, March 10, 2005

Hey... how about we get Roma on this nonsense.
omg youfdsjfklds;ajfkl;dassda

Laura's kind of joke

Doctors remove wedding ring from penis

Romanian doctors have removed a man's wedding ring from his penis.

The patient, who is married and has two children, told doctors he had a one night stand with another woman.

He couldn't say how the ring got onto his penis but suspected the mistress wanted to embarrass him because he fell asleep during sex.

Doctors said the man, from Rovinari, Jiu county, whose name was not revealed will recover after the incident.

They said it was not the first time they had to save people from embarrassing situations.

In another case, a man came to hospital with his penis stuck in a cola bottle.

"He looked like a very respectable person. We managed to remove the bottle without harming his sexual organ," a urologist told Opinia Oltenien newspaper.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

laura: 9 months ago the 101st airborne got home
ElBifin: thats enough time to have a baby
laura: now... 640 women are pregnant at fort campbell

Monday, March 07, 2005

Another country heard from...

Read this and shuttup...

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Its your own fault, you left me here.

Basically how things are

Friday, March 04, 2005

Thursday, March 03, 2005

So me and my friend have this thing...every time we go to McDonalds we steal the whole bucket of salt. This is what my friend made out of 5 visits worth of salt.
#1 Make a paper football and get someone to play with you. When they put their hands up into a little goal, flick the football at the teacher and immediately go back to doing your work.
#2 Out of nowhere, or when it is quiet, say loud enough for the class to hear "When I say heeee-aay, you say hoooo, Heeee-aay" and see how many people say "ho"
#3 At another quiet time, shout out "Marco" and then in a squeaky voice shout out "Polo seinior"
#4 Practice your ty-chi. Wave your arms all around like your really know what you are doing.
#5 Meditate. Humm as loud as you can and when your teacher says something about it, act all offended. "Do you have a problem with my religion, sir!?"
#6 If one of your friends is drinking something, in the middle of a drink start chanting "chug! chug! chug!"
#7 When the class is very quiet, say in a casual voice "Knock knock"
#8 When the class is quiet, sigh and say "This class is really boring"
#9 Shoot rubber bands at someone, when they accuse you look confused and point to the person to the left of you. After that, point to the person on the right of you ect...
#10 If you are black start singing country music, if you are white start rapping.
#11 Make as many paperballs as you can and set them on your desk in a giant pile. If anyone looks at you, look tough and nod at them.
#12 If you are a male, start singing Britney Spears's "Hit me baby one more time" complete with raise the roof action.
#13 Take everything out of your backpack and stack it on your desk. Take out a sheet of paper and take inventory of your stuff.
#14 Take an empty gum wrapper and put it in your palm, then signal someone by going "pssssst. Hey!" Make them lean all close to you and get them thinking you have something interesting to say. Look around and then give them the gumwrapper.
#15 See how many tiny paper balls you can set on the person in front of you without them knowing it.
#16 Tie someones shoe's together and kick them.
#17 Use a kick me sign. As a challenge, see how many people you can put a kick me sign on without them knowing it.
#18 Start singing "Can you feel the love tonight" from the Lion King.
#19 Fall asleep. When you wake up say shit like "I had a dream and you were in it. And you! You too!...

Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 8:31 pm
#2 Out of nowhere, or when it is quiet, say loud enough for the class to hear "When I say heeee-aay, you say hoooo, Heeee-aay" and see how many people say "ho"

Did it in class today, got a detention so BEWARE. Anyways it was a class with all my friends in it and pretty much all of em yelled Ho back. Gotta love em.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

this is awesome once again so its back here

Lights to be dimmed for prostitutes

The Belgian city of Antwerp is to dim its new waterfront lights after complaints from prostitutes.

Sex workers complained the bright lights were putting off potential clients, reports Independent Online.

"We had some remarks from the prostitutes that there was too much light, both for them and the clients," city council spokesperson Jorn Verbeeck said.

"We are investigating the possibility of lowering the light there."

Prostitutes complained to city and police officials that the lights did not give them enough privacy and hurt business, he said.

The port, which tolerates sex workers in a select few streets near the waterfront, is to test an electric system to dim the lights.