Tuesday, May 31, 2005

D-Day museum

the dday museum is insane.
i took a whole roll of film
they have every weapon used in the war plus a bunch of higgins boats and shit
BF has it ALL wrong, thyere HUGE

my blog is gay

my blog sucks, cant update it... can update this one... son of a bitch

Monday, May 30, 2005

...alright.... NOW Bush is an asshole

"Wired is reporting that the Bush administration wants back the ability to make ISPs turn over information on their customers. The U.S. Court of Appeals is handling the case and of course the feds want to hide details of it from the public. The law giving the government the power to seize communications records from 1986 was strengthened in 2001 by the Patriot Act and struck down after the ACLU challenged it."

Why don't we just scrap the court system altogether?
i came to new orleans, went shopping
theres an entire store of LSU Tigers(louisiana state university)crap and other stuff from new orleans

but what did i get?

KOTOR and a MagLite flashlight.

i rock.

and we went to my cousins (3rd year of college) apartment.
besides the fact that its 4 bedrooms and fucking huge, here are the key points.
-the bathroom has 3 sections, with 2 sinks
-the front door has post it notes with the names of every girl thats been there (its covered, he said they ran out of post-its)
-the tops of the cabinets look like arz and burn's, covered with bottles, but here there not all the same stupid beer, theyre all different liquor
-his room is covered in pictures of half naked girls
-The Living Room
-Surround Sound
-Every nintendo from NES to GC
-A rack of movies and..

yes, you read right, they have two couches, one infront of the other, and the one in back is raised up on cinderblocks with a table in front of it for the floor.


and a joke from his bedroom door (paraphrased)

This guy is getting married and a few weeks before the wedding, the girl's sister starts flirting with him subtly but very often.
about a week before the wedding she calls him over to her house to go over something for the wedding.
when he gets there, she tells him that she has feelings for him and she wants to sleep with him one time before he gets married, so she says "I'm going upstairs, if you want me, come up and get me"
so he immediatley walks out the door, where he sees her parents, who say "congratulations, you passed our little test, we're very proud to have you as our son-in-law"

the moral of the story is always keep your condoms in your car.

Six Flags (Last try)

Alright fuckers. Thursdays coming up and I have no problem going to Six Flags even if only 1 or two people are going but if we can get a date that people can go to before Thursday happens I wouldnt mind doing that. So rather then randomly picking dates that never seems to work YOU tell ME what date you can go. So do it cause come Thursday im just gonna go with Ed and give up on any future plans of going again this summer cause no one ever responds.

We're goin to the picture show to see the new talkie!

Thats what going to the movies feels like, everything is so far away from everything else here. but its still good. the movie theater has speakers all over the parking lot and even the ads are better. and i didn't see that stupid green preview screen before the previews.

The Longest Yard was funny as shit.

guy punches another guy in the face
"i think i made him shit himself"
Medics come and get him
"man this guy shit himself"
"wow that guy actually shit himself"

and a great closing line too.

P.S. 1:14 am naw'lins time and im not jetlagged at all. random sleepless gaming and prom does have a use.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

On your own, avoid homogenous books, films, music, food, sex, media and people. Actually experience life by going to places you don’t usually go, spending time with people you don’t usually spend time with. Be in the moment and be open to it. Until recently in human history, life was much less predictable and we were forced to encounter things not always of our own choosing. We are capable of more interesting and creative lives than our modern cultures often provide for us. If you go out of you way to find diverse experiences it will become impossible for you to miss ideas simply because your homogenous outlook filtered them out.

why stupid people defend bad ideas.

socrates argument

Mental Note

find and watch movies by david gordon green, supposed to be a really good director.

Laura we can use some of this for the list of movies.


Turtles can fly

I wish everyone who has an opinion on the war in Iraq could see "Turtles Can Fly." That would mean everyone in the White House and in Congress, and the newspaper writers, and the TV pundits, and the radio talkers, and you -- especially you, because you are reading this and they are not.
You assume the movie is a liberal attack on George W. Bush's policies. Not at all. The action takes place just before the American invasion begins, and the characters in it look forward to the invasion and the fall of Saddam Hussein. Nor does the movie later betray an opinion one way or the other about the war. It is about the actual lives of refugees, who lack the luxury of opinions because they are preoccupied with staying alive in a world that has no place for them.
-roger ebert

now where the FUCK do i find these movies?

Edit: movie stuff

anyone ever hear of six degrees of seperation, six degrees of kevin bacon, or Bacon Number?

wiki owns all.

Apparently, the only two people who have an undefined bacon number are Fred Ott (as in Fred Ott's Sneeze) and Thomas Edison, Fred ott having only been in two films, and he was the only person in the films.

The Oracle of Bacon. Find out the Bacon Number of any actor.

question for laura

Q. I greatly enjoy your reviews and the thoughtful observations they contain. However, I get a little worried about the strength of your argument in your review of "Unleashed," when you make the case for women being able to stir a man's humanity by using Ann Coulter as your example. That is the same person who claimed women should bear arms but not be able to vote. (did she really say that?) (note: that was the question, did she really say that)

C. Perla, Miami

A. Wouldn't you sleep more soundly at night knowing Ann Coulter was in the Army and not in a voting booth?
Roger Ebert isnt as much of an asshole as i assumed he must be, just for being amovie critic. Rob, check the slashdot article on his reviews for star wars, theres two links where he answers questions about how he rated it and something else.
but this guy is just a complete conservative faggot moron. He talks as if lucas singlehandedly fucked up our perfect booming economy.

Q. Is George Lucas a knowing Economic Terrorist? (note: yup, you got him hes a terrorist, declare war on him you moron) Lucas KNEW that by releasing the last "Star Wars" movie what effect it would have on the United States Economy. The movie was released on a working day. Lucas could have well waited to release his movie on Saturday or even Sunday. The effect was a $627 million loss in American Productivity.The box-office take was $158.5 million. That leaves a $468.5 cost to the U.S. Economy. But that's not the end of the loss. Each day, Lucas is losing $1.5 million to pirates(NOTE: BULLSHIT ALERT, i saw it opening day, downloaded it, and im planning on seeing it again...losing money my ass) -- a capital cost to his investors of $6 million in four days and climbing. The loss could and should have been avoided by release on a Saturday or Sunday, and Simultaneous Distribution to Television, Sales and Rentals. The question becomes, would George Lucas really damage the economy to make a point of his hate for the Republican Party and President George Bush? (note: yeah, he made a movie to finish his series and released it just as a political statement. He showed that administration good. I bet he's been planning it since the 70's, the bastard)

D.L. Graham, San Diego

A. And what happened to Padme's pants?

roger ebert's pretty cool.
I'm in new orleans now, but only one out of my 5 cousins is going to be here before thursday. ripoff.

rob and ed-
Been playing some Lego Star Wars lately. This game is just pure awesome in a box. At first glance it looks plain, and silly and stupid, but once you play it, you'll find that this kiddish adaption does more to capture the fun and essence that should accompany a Star Wars game than 90% of the pure shit that LucasArts stamps their seal of approval on. Plus it's got a two-player co-op mode, and 40-some-odd characters to unlock and play across Episodes One, Two and Three. Now if they'd only make a game for the original trilogy.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Link for Steve

10 minute film school
Edit:Really great flash rotoscoping
Edit2: I was bored enough to do this with flash. Apparently Frobby.com servers gone so i have been forced to use putfile. Wow rotoscoping long.
Edit3: Steve remind me of the rotoscoping spreading project tomorrow so I don't forget. I got a good idea, requires 1 cameraman, 1 actor, 1 house. Only about a day of filming and a shitload of rotoscoping and I really want to do it now.
I'm sure you have read it. I remember reading it after watching El Mariachi but after reading it again I seemed to have taken more from it (for instance I dont remember reading about the energy of the film and how much he rips Antinoris heart out with the bit on how films too expensive and slow and useless.)

Monday or Tuesday or Whenever we can go into the city with our cameras and do something.

"How do you make a cheap movie? - Look around you, what do you have around you? Take stock in what you have. Your father owns a liquor store - make a movie about a liquor store. Do you have a dog? Make a movie about your dog. Your mom works in a nursing home, make a movie about a nursing home. When I did El Mariachi I had a turtle, I had a guitar case, I had a small town and I said I'll make a movie around that."

We have NYC, 2 Cameras, and a bunch of friends who may pretend they are busy sometimes but really aren't. Lets do something with that.


Thursday, May 26, 2005


So I woke up and looked at my clock and thought "Holy shit I woke up at 8:10! Thats like 18 hours of sleep. I broke my own record in one day... im awesome" and then after taking a piss and hearing the morning radio people I thought "Oh... its 8.. AM. I only got 3 hours of sleep... I'm going to be tired"

And now SWG is down for a publish update and wont be up for like 6 hours so I have to actually find something to do today. Hmm play andother computer game and watch TV or play another computer game and watch TV?

Wednesday, May 25, 2005


And another thing...

IT'S FLEET WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Fucking awesome

05.21.05 / Philanthropy is Good

"Dear Bunny,

I am a 21 year old college graduate (now working on a masters) from Indianapolis. Why I told you that I am not really sure, except it may help explain my excitement when the following occured.

About two weeks ago, I was reading some of your archived blog stories and my girlfriend walked in. The usual "hey babe. how ya doin." bullshit occured and then she asked what I was reading. I almost didn't show her but figured a website would be some stupid shit to argue over and gave in. She was amazed. I swear to god she sat at my computer for nearly two hours and read your stories. She now loves you. So much in fact, that she finally agreed (after years of coercing) to bring another girl to bed. I still didn't figure it would happen.

Well last night she calls me on the way home from a bar downtown and says, "I have a surprise for you. Get in bed and make sure you are naked when I get there." Of course being the good boyfriend that I am followed those orders. Laying there got boring after the intial anticipation wore off and I damn near fell asleep when I hear someone come in the door. Now I was extremely anxious.

About 2 minutes later my girlfriend walks through the door completely naked (I'm like hell yeah) and says, "This is Steph." (I'm like Oh My God!!!) My girlfriend is pretty damn good looking but Steph, well Steph is a fucking gem. She has to be every bit of 6 feet tall, incredible long legs, full C-cup breasts, and the most accurate reproduction of Angelina Jolie's lips I have ever seen. My girlfriend has good taste, apparently.

Anyways, They had their way with me until the sun came up. No really. The last time I looked at the clock it was 6:30am and my girlfriends crotch was in my face as Steph was riding my dick.

I owe this all to you. Thanks Bunny."

TheBunnyBlog.com / Blog

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Six Flags Updated

Siz Flags (updated)
Alright fuckers heres the deal:

So the 30th is Memorial day meaning it will be crowded as fuck so forget that day.
Some people can't go the day so scratch the 31st.
The 29th is only 2 days after prom and some people said thats too soon so scratch that day as well.
None of us can go June 1st because of graduation practice.
So the next best date is Thursday, June 2nd, 2005

No school shit to deal with then. Its weekday so it wont be as crowded and hopefully its early enough in june that a lot of public school are stiff open. This is the date.
Let me know if you can go.

As of now Roma, Ea, and Rich said they will go. Ed is defently going because its Kingda Ka ffs.

My mom is letting me take the car and shes gonna let me use the EZ pass for the tolls, however said said she wants gas in it when I get back meaning gas. I'm not picking up the tab for a full tank of gas, if I had to i would jsut wait until my family decided to go. So whoever goes in the car with me nees to chip in. She says a full tanks around 36 bucks, devided by the 4 passengers and me is around 7 and half bucks. Which brings up the topic of money:

Tickets: You can buy a 1 day pass ticket online for a total of $41.33. You can also purchase the ticket at the park if you want but keep in mind it then costs $47 bucks (not including tax). So thats up to you.

Food: Bring money for food seeing as we'll be there all day and food cost money. How much you brings up to you.

Travel: Like i said before. Bring 7.50 so we can buy gas, so the car will move and we can travel to the damn place. Not to mention depending on how much gas is in the car when I get it and how much gas cost in NJ it might end up being cheaper.

I can fite 5 in my car. So far the only defenite yes i have is Ed and I. Thats 2. I have 3 more spaces in my car. If you wanna come with me just make sure you have a way to get my house early in the morning. Park opens at 8 so it would be nice to leave at 7. If you are Ed, Rich or Steve my mom said you can sleep over thenight before if you think you'll have a problem getting a ride here that early.

In terms of going home, it really depends on how much gas is left, I might be able to give some people rides home, however have a ride avalible just in case because I can't make any promises.

If we get more then 5 who can and want to go then we will have to start looking at a second car to go, but i have a feeling it wont go that high.

So thats all, if you can go let me know. If it turns out being just me and Ed going then fuck it we are still going. Put aside the Kingda Ka way too long and i dont feel like waiting any longer

Monday, May 16, 2005


the biggest fucking whore ever. This woman should be sent to the middle east and stoned.

Key Quote:" And while we regret the rioting and murders that took place as a result of our inaccuracy, we would like to point out that none of the dead were killed by American soldiers, and therefore don’t really “count.” "
national toothpick holders society

i fucked ann coulter in the ass
The next thing I knew, her companion (mother?) had left and Coulter was standing over me, looking skeptically at my reading material.
The Grapes of Wrath, huh?’
‘Yes’ I said, faking composure. ‘It’s fantastic.’
‘It’s a fantastic primer for vacuous proto-Communists everywhere,’ she said dismissively.
‘I don’t know about that..’
She sighed. ‘I don’t have enough ink in my pen to keep a running list of what you don’t know. May I?’
She motioned to the empty chair next to me.
‘Of course.’ It would be fair to say my voice trembled a little.
She sat and said nothing. Ann Coulter evidently takes an unappreciative view of small talk. That she was eager to continue antagonizing me became evident when I re-opened my recently-insulted book to resume reading. A young man passed in a t-shirt proclaiming ‘Iraq Nam’. She stopped him.
‘1. Haircut. 2. Shower. 3. Get a job, you sniveling hippy,’ she glowered. ‘You’re probably too high to remember that, so write it down--if you can write.’
He looked at her with dismay and scampered away like a kicked cat. She turned to me with bloodlust.
‘What do you think of the war: complete success, or very nearly complete success?’ she asked.
‘Well, in no time—barring the strong possibility of Civil War--we’ll have a democratically-elected anti-US Islamicist government in charge of the world’s second-largest oil reserves, so I’d have to say only very-nearly, on the complete success scale, at a hysterically distorted best.’
She showed her teeth. ‘It sounds to me like you don’t support our troops.’
‘I think that ‘Support Our Troops’ business is the most crass, craven cowardice ever to go unquestioned by the allegedly Liberal media.’
‘Yes? Yes?’ There was oddly growing excitement in her voice.
‘It allows the Administration to absolve itself of responsibility for its own flawed policy. It’s no different than if you sent a classroom of 2nd graders into a burning building, and when anyone objects you throw in their face that they "don’t support our 2nd graders"’
‘Where do you live?’
‘A few blocks away.’
‘Take me there.’

When we got to my apartment, she looked around glumly.
‘I was thinking you’d have half-burned American flags up on the wall,’ she said, disappointed.
‘That’s ridiculous. I love my country.’
‘Whatever you think that means,’ she said, rolling her eyes. ‘Don’t you have anything nasty to say about the President?’
‘Like what?’
‘Like he’s an imbecile, or corrupt, or a corrupt imbecile—the usual sore-loser bitter chatter.’
‘To be honest, I didn’t like the nasty things that were said about Clinton, and I’ve decided to have respect for the Office, no matter who holds it. I don’t think President Bush is corrupt or an imbecile anyway. Would you like something to drink?’
‘I think maybe this was a mistake,’ she said, starting to go.
‘That’s not to say I don’t disagree strongly with many of his policies and objectives.’
She seemed to reconsider. ‘Like what?’
‘I don’t know. Name one.’
‘Get me a drink first.’

With every point I expressed that ran counter to a view she held, she removed one article of clothing. Soon she sat on my couch naked, gently pulling at her untrimmed pubic hair, staring intently but not quite invitingly at me. The growing hard lump in my throat was just outpaced by the one in my pants. I was a little nervous because we had agreed on the last two points—the need to reconsider the option of nuclear energy, and drilling in the Arctic—and I noticed her oversized nipples were no longer hard. Luckily, she was, by this point, determined.
‘What do you think,’ she began provocatively, ‘of the President’s plan to privatize Social Security?’
I sighed with relief; this was as sure a promise to seal the deal as her asking if I had a condom.
‘I think it’s a payoff to the Americans the President has always been most intent on pleasing: the richest 1%.’
‘What do you mean?’ she cooed. I noticed her nipples hardening once more. She dropped to her knees in front of me. She pushed me backwards and positioned my legs up in the air.
‘A stock’s value is even now only partially tied to the actual value of any publicly traded company. But who’s going to profit from inflated valuations when stock prices swell irrationally from the forced, artificial injection of capital?
Her breath was hot on my ‘taint as she lifted my scrotum. ‘Yes? Yes?’
‘You might as well shoehorn billions of dollars into the Baseball Card market. The price of a Derek Jeter rookie will be driven up to hundreds of thousands of dollars—before the bubble bursts and the whole market crashes massively.’ It was getting hard to stay on point as she tongue-fucked my shitter vigorously.
‘Don’t..Stop!!’ her contorted mouth pled from my butthole.
‘The top 1% will sell stocks at the inflated valuations to the novice investors-by-necessity, the market will swell and crash, and the same 1% will come back and re-purchase their holdings at pennies on the dollar. Meanwhile, Social Security will go bankrupt and all the novice investors will be eating catfood for the duration of their "golden years,'’ barring a massive Federal bailout several hundred times in excess of what the Savings & Loan scandal cost us.’
She sprung up on the couch on all fours and looked over her shoulder at me. She pointed to her twitching, puckered anus. ‘See this?’
I nodded eagerly.
‘I want you to wreck it.’
I spit on my skeezer-pleaser and, prying her ass cheeks apart like a hot dinner roll, drove it home, into the biggest browneye I had ever seen. She gurgled contentedly. Every thrust of my babymaker was met with a wrenched squeal as I grabbed her by the hips and began really leaning into it.
‘Harder!’ she begged, ‘Harder!! Tell me what you think of Chomsky!’
‘I..think..he’s..brill..iant..but..I..don’t really agree with much of his stance on Israel, and--’
‘You’re slowing down!’ she snapped. ‘DON’T SLOW DOWN!’
I went back to punishing her asshole, giving no thought whatsoever to compassionate conservatism as her chocolate socket gnawed on my pork pipe. She was babbling now, as out of a delirious reverie.
‘Feed it,' Ann Coulter rasped. 'Feed my hungry asshole!'
I buried her face in a throw pillow and she swiveled her hips back on my fuckstick with obvious appreciation. My pace quickened as my man-magma built towards eruption.
‘Wait!’ she gasped, sensing the fuse on my yogurt cannon was burning quick. ‘I want to take you ass-to-mouth!’
I withdrew from her puckerhole with an audible ‘pop’ and she scrambled around, gulping at my wang-dang-doodle as though the lives of all her loved ones hinged on her marks for enthusiasm. Her eyes rolled up pleadingly as she threw her head down again and again on my magic johnson. I knew what she wanted.
‘There is a specter haunting Europe,’ I began, and she started to convulse spasmodically with her own thrashing orgasm, her head now dribbling in a blur against my groin. I repeated every Karl Marx quote I could think of until I reached my own ‘historic inevitability’ and launched surge after surge from my hairy boda bag. I ejaculated with what seemed like enough force to blow out the back of her head--but her head was made of stronger stuff. She sputtered, gobbled and gulped what I’d have to call a very liberal, even radically so, quantity of hot splooey.
Once she caught her breath, she wiped her mouth, stood, and took me by the hand.
‘Let’s go to the bathroom.’
She seemed surprised I had to ask. Her tone was that of someone reminding another of something too obvious to need mention.
‘Uh, so I can get in the tub and you can piss all over me?’

I sat in a robe and watched her as she dressed.
‘Will I see you again?’ I asked tentatively.
‘Sure,’ she said, pointing to the TV. ‘On that.’
Some moments passed. I tried to dispel the awkward silence.
‘Well, nice meeting you,’ I offered.
‘You’ve really got a gift for tedious small talk,’ she shot back.
I was a little hurt and, recognizing this, she softened just a shade as she reached for her purse to leave.
‘Yes?’ I asked.
‘Thanks for not staring at my adam’s apple.’
‘No problem.’
She let herself out without another word, and I sat in the late afternoon silence alone. I considered how it felt to be a disposable instrument in someone’s personal debasement fantasy.

All in all, it didn’t feel too bad.

And worst comment ever:

Tony H. said...

Way to feed your throbbing Chomsky to her little brown McCarthy.

Like LBJ fucking Kennedy's head wound on Air Force One, this is truer than the truth. Nice work.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Love is...

The Simpsons Rules

"I wish we lived in a neighborhood like in the yesteryears and only exists in the minds of us republicans..." Ned Flanders

Ned - "Alright boys put on your goody-two-shoes we're moving back to Springfield."
Tod - "But i have a girlfriend."
Ned - "Now you have a penpal."
Tod - "YAY!"

Saturday, May 14, 2005

It's official

nintendo sucks at what they do.

Friday, May 13, 2005

richs forums owned

Thursday, May 12, 2005


-"did you know the army discharged 10,000 soldiers for being gay? They fired 20 Arab speaking translators for being gay! Here when 9/11 happened cause we couldn't translate the intellegence fast enough, and here theyre firing linguists!"

-"....cunning linuists"

This Weekend......

We Ride

this weekend..

we ride

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

i was looking for hotels for D-Day and this one looked so awesome cause it was a suite then i read the whole thing and...weird

1 King Bed, Suite,
Max Occupancy: 2 persons

2 Hotel Rooms
1 Bedroom Suite
Living Room
2 Bathrooms
Hot Tub - Heart Shaped

Frank is a junkie

Frank: yeah.
ElBifin: well where is it
Frank: its text
Frank: How do you define reality?

If I can taste, smell, touch, see and feel something how is it not real?

I've come to the conclusion that the use of such substances like mushrooms/peyote and other hallucinogenic do not cause illusions, rather they are door ways to parallel realities that as of now, humans can not reach on their own.

If our "reality" is composed of what we taste, smell, touch, see and feel all we are doing is receiving impulses to our brains that tell us these things.

I'll use this analogy.

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
I don't believe sound would exist without a being present to hear it. "Sound" is only an impulse received by our brain and then processed.
So for that matter...
If you were under the heavy influence of peyote, which the journey is often described as being on another plain of existence, is it not real? If you can experience the environment with all of your senses, how is it not real? And as for your body, which may not be connected to the visions you may experience while on peyote, for that time period was normal existence an actual reality if you brains was not functioning there to receive it? Why is it that our association with reality only consists of what we consider our bodies?

As for my experience with mushrooms, the sound of music was much different from when i was not under the influence, was what i hearing not real? was it an illusion? or rather was it always in existence? on a plain i could not perceive with out mushrooms.

What I am suggesting is that these separate realities are always around us, they are not hallucinations, they are something that is all around but we can not receive without the aid of these substances. It is through the use of these substances that we are allowed to cross the gap and take on new perspectives.
I believe substances like that do not alter your perceptions rather open your mind to see what you normally could not. They are the doors from one "reality" to another.

Frank: make sense?
ElBifin: are you tryign to change my opinion or asking me to judge how its written
Frank: im not trying to change anything.
Frank: just want an opinion, on my thoughts about.
Frank: does it make sense?
*** Frank direct connection is closed (couldn't send packet!).
ElBifin: no i dont think so, becuase theres no alternate reality, like you say its just perceptions, nothing is changing, just the way your brain is translating the signals its receiving is changing, everything is constant outside of your perception
Frank: well thats what i mean, what is constant?
Frank: everything outside your mind?
Frank: its not about everything else
Frank: its about your mind, and what your accept as reality
ElBifin: no nothing else is changing, if you were to set up a video camera, it would show things as they happened and you wouldnt remember them like that because you were fucked up on mushrooms
Frank: thats your body!
Frank: not your mind
Frank: you can't film your mind
Frank: what are you talking about, your flesh...
ElBifin: yes youre changing the way your mind perceives something, therefore its not an alternate reality because its only inside your mind, by your definition, mental patients and terri schiavo would have their own dimensions that they exist in
Frank: yes.
ElBifin: well thats stupid.
ElBifin: and here:
ElBifin: Frank: well thats what i mean, what is constant?
Frank: everything outside your mind?
Frank: its not about everything else
Frank: its about your mind, and what your accept as reality
ElBifin: no nothing else is changing, if you were to set up a video camera, it would show things as they happened and you wouldnt remember them like that because you were fucked up on mushrooms
Frank: thats your body!
Frank: not your mind
Frank: you can't film your mind
Frank: what are you talking about, your flesh...
ElBifin: yes youre changing the way your mind perceives something, therefore its not an alternate reality because its only inside your mind, by your definition, mental patients and terri schiavo would have their own dimensions that they exist in
ElBifin: oops
ElBifin: Physical Effects of Mushrooms
After ingestion:
-Strange feeling around teeth
-Feeling of extreme lightness
-weird feeling around nose
-Vomiting, after which is usually accompanied with intense open-eyed hallucinations
-A "wah, wah" feeling in your body, like your being bombarded by some kind of kinetic force.
-Heavy philosophical rambling, like you're a college professor talking to a room full of students. Especially profound with high doses.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

My sister remembers the “short bus” pulling up out front and Bobby Banona getting off and rushing inside excitedly. That was one of the nice things about Bobby, he was always in a good mood. He would come into the Banona house, hug Mrs. Banona as she took a big drag of her cigarette, and giggle. Mrs. Banona would then ask, “Bobby, how many erasers did you eat today?

Bobby: “Just two mom!”

“That’s a good boy. Now go and get yourself a snack.” And the snack was almost always something laden with high fructose and Red Number 7.

Apparently Bobby wasn’t a case of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. He was a botched self-abortion, which makes the coat hanger bike rather ironic. Mrs. Banona got drunk one night and decided she wanted to stop at four kids. How fucked up is that?

Monday, May 09, 2005

"I had to wear underwear with these pants, cause they get all fuzzies on your butt and i didnt want to have the fuzzies all over my cooch."

Im pissy


Sunday, May 08, 2005

Family Guy is Awesome

"Form of A TAMPON!" tampon moves into the purse "Now we play, the waiting game."

American Dad is awesome.

"No! No apologies! George W. taught me that."

And the bathtub full of waffles....


Back up in your ass with the ressur-ection

office space is the greatest movie ever.


I just saw a toad eat a lightning bug. Then they turned out the lights and the fuckiing frog was flashing.

Aren't you sorry you missed it?

Don't let me read hoo-ah.net obsessively. You know I will...

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Dogs were barking... Monkeys clapping...

Bears were dancing...

fucking awesome, my ears are bleeding.

Went to rich's show and made fun of everyone in my head. Because they suck.

i dont know what this is but its cool.

HAHHA MOSHZILLA i think this very well could be the person we saw at the show.

"US officials believe that fresh satellite photos of N Korea show intensive preparations for a possible nuclear weapons test."

Rob:" its simple, we just move america to north korea so that when they nuke us, theyre nuking themselves. then we move america back to america."

Friday, May 06, 2005

rob is no longer human, he has woken up, played swg, slept, and repeated for two days. he doesnt sound human.

from hoo-ah.net

I tried to go to sleep, and ended up having to literally tie a sweat shirt around my head so the blinding light that was 12 inches from face wouldn't keep me up. As soon as I got to sleep, I was shaken awake.

I looked at my watch: 5:34am.

Are you fucking kidding me? Is this what I signed up for?

I raised up off the bunk to get up and hit my head on the light cover. As I was rubbing my head I looked up at the ceiling, and carved into the tile next to the light was the only thing that made me smile in the past 24 hours:

30th AG:
Operation Clusterfuck

I wasn't even vaguely aware of how appropriate I would come to find that little carving to be


and more from a reader: (note: Fucking WOW)

How uncanny. I was a very young, very successful individual not unlike "Mr. Sadler". I had owned and operated my own data and voice networking business serving Southern New England (specifically Rhode Island) with barebones network and small computer support. I was 19.

Having Chairman/CEO as title designators after my name seemed to be the exact thing I was looking for. Fueled my the stories of Bill Gates, Larry Ellison, Michael Dell, searching for the drive and tenacity of Carly Fiorna I was a snot nosed 19 year old punk running a business of 156 men and women and was doing great. Well, I was doing great on paper my mind was a different story.

I had most of what grown men pine over and I had it faster and sooner than previously imagined. I didn't go to a prestigious business school to learn how to run and implement sound business practices and customer service techniques to bring the customer back. My parents most of their lives had been entrepreneurs themselves showing me through their own businesses what it takes to 'make it' on your own.

When I hit the later part of my 18th year I was working almost 110 hours a week, completely burned out from everything usually sleeping at my office rather than my home. 9/10 my friends and others slept in my bed, ate my food, drank my alcohol, utilized my amenities that I paid for only so I could work longer and harder to pay for more. Two days after I came to grips with all of this I went to my local Air Force recruiter and I joined the US Air Force on 21 August 2001.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

REQUIREMENTS For THiS pOOr artist WHILE TRAvELLING (not optional): Model release to be signed and sent via to me by US PM BEFORE I depart Europe (in 2006). a place to crash, (food would be nice tooo), and a tour of your city/area. Unfortunately, this is NOT an option. It's been a year since I returned from my 2003 trip and I have this working in a (yeck) studio to pay my bills from DAT trip. remember, very few see my fotos, and NOBODY (but noBody) will buy... so I guess I aint maKing any $$ off these shoots!! "

hoo-ah is awesome.

I know a little Ukrainian because I'm one of those weird people that can pick up languages in no time just by listening to native speakers. When I got home from backpacking around Europe after college, I spoke one language like a native, complete with regional vernacular (Spanish--I took it in high school and college, and can even get the Castilian lisp correct), three languages nearly fluently (French, Italian and Portugese--they are all related to Spanish) and three more passably (Russian, Ukrainian, and Belarussian--they come from the same root langauage and are very similar to each other). [Side note: if you are a single guy, MAKE THAT TRIP. I spent most of my time in Eastern Europe and the Mediterranean. Eastern Europe is full of beautiful women that want nothing more than to marry an American guy who will take them to the States, and will do anything to accomplish this goal. And Mediterranean women are just plain HOT. And when you are American and speak their language--you are fucking every day. God, I miss those days.]

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Sunday 7am: Outside Chicago
I wake up. We are doing 75 miles per hour backward, staring into the path of a slaloming 4x4. We spin 720 degrees and hop up on two wheels. I am screaming. Maxie looks like that old Saturday Night Live skit, Toonces the Driving Cat. Tucker does a very calm soccer-mom reach, and in an everyday kind of voice you use with the mailman, your neighbor or the guy who gives you your french fries he says “Bunny everything is fine. Relax.”
Guy next to the cashier: “So the trade towers, aint they them things in the Sears building down th’ road? Th’ one in Chee-cago?”

Girl next to the cashier: “Nope. The trade towers are them things in Washington, I thank.”

Guy next to the cashier: “They’s in Washington?”

I leave. Tucker remains calm. I don’t know how he manages this.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

In case you care:

April 2005 was the best month my site has ever had in terms of traffic. Numbers as tracked by Webalizer:

-63 million hits (deceivingly high number--page views and visitors are truer indications of traffic)
-10.9 million page views
-1.3 million visitors

and he's literally not meeting anyone from his site without a third party present and videotaping all girls he fucks consenting to sex with him. he wont tell the story but he just says he got off cuase 'those three cops were very smart and they could see through the bullshit'

Sunday, May 01, 2005

"he has no name"
"he has no name?"
"he...killed his own name"

It is soooo 4 am

i was just checking blogs and i read the thing on robs so i was laughing
tehn i went to ea's and saw what i did the other day, so doubled over laughing i posted 10 more comments.

it continues to be hilarious right now.
germans make the best commercials