Sunday, June 26, 2005

Dane Cook at MSG on Sept. 16th

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Graduation parties

[15:23] Eric: damn im having one too, an you shoud cancel yours and come to mine
[15:24] ElBifin: no you should cancel yours and come to mine
[15:24] Eric: i wish i could, exept that there is a lot of money involved with mine, money that i will be recieving. so no
[15:25] ElBifin: hahahha
[15:25] ElBifin: awesome
We gotta go see this. Its Steve Carell

The 40 year old virgin

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Chuck got hurt.
The war is slowly being won: Today after formatting my sisters computer I decided to "lose" the AOL cd and replace it with trillian and firefox. I have converted another.


haha steve broke his computer

Monday, June 20, 2005

Give this a chance....

So - that Terry Gilliam -

Apparently The Brothers Grimm (with Heath Ledger and Matt Damon :drool:) is coming out sometime in August.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Wonder YEars is BACK!

Mom: Hi honey how was traffic?
Dad: Traffic's traffic
Kevin: Dad had a spartan sense of language.
Dane Cooks new CD Retaliation comes out in 7 days. This very well may be the first Audio CD I purchase in the past 6 years.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

You guys plague my OCD.

Sometimes I'm sure you do it on purpose too.

Everybody go read Chuck. He's like Bunny, except no tits and more guns. Well, the only way he is like Bunny is that he's awesome.

I don't want to be here. Duty is why I am here. I know that is a foreign concept to some people. You support your nation. Especially in times like these.

I really miss my family. But they understand why I am here. Have you ever had to explain to a five year old boy that you are going away and may never come back? Have you had to put it in words that he would understand? Take out WMDs, Take out global politics. It boils down to this:

“Daddy has to go to a place called Iraq. It is very far away. There are bad people there. Daddy is going to kill them, and they are trying to kill me. Daddy is one of the good guys, and the good guys fight the bad guys. Sometimes the good guys win, and sometimes the good guys get killed. But daddy doesn't want the bad guys to come here and hurt you and mommy and Adelle. I love you too much to let that happen. Even if it means that I may die.”

So discourage your son. Tell him there are other ways to "serve." Tell him to carry a sign, protest, do whatever he wants, but stay at home and be safe. Be a sheep, because other men will take it upon themselves to be sheepdogs and protect you from the wolves.

Feel free to question their methods and motives. Feel free to burn the flag they wear on their uniforms. Feel free to do what you want to do with your life, because they have bled, they have sacrificed; they have given more to you than you will ever give to them.

Just don't ever look them in the eye and call them brother.
Some Dane Cooks show at some college in NY
His new CD comes out the 26th

lawyer owned

last part with other lawyers responses is great

Friday, June 17, 2005

"that movie was great,
i saw 22 boobies,
a bunch of guys got killed,
it had no story at all. It had everything."

-Al bundy

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Random funny comment

Recently I've noticed a new trend in the questions I'm asked by strangers. For years it was "Seen any good movies lately?" Now I am asked for my insights into Brad and Angelina, Tom and Katie, and other couples created by celebrity gossip. I reply that I know nothing about their private lives, except what I read in the supermarket tabloids, which also know nothing about their private lives. I can see this comes as a disappointment. So I think I'll start speculating about threesomes enlisting The Rock, Vin Diesel and Vince Vaughn, selected at random. This may be an idea for the sequel.

roger ebert
"Bullets! My one weakness. How did you know?"
holy shit.

i just watched layer cake.

that movie was fucking unbelievable.

i wish i could burn it so we could watch it at eds tomorrow.

just... amazing.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

New slogan...

New Zealand: Because you can run away from your problems.

Saturday, June 11, 2005


do all the options just keep starting over or whatever

1. Prior to Flushing:
This New Plunge allows you to prevent your toilet from clogging. By using the slice & dice method on the waste, your toilet will not clog.

as dave barry said, "they've invented a stick"

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Remember what Jesus said...

"You give a man a fish, and he knows where to go for his fish. You teach a man to fish, and you've just destroyed your market base"

Chopper 4!

With airborn capabilities!

With self propelling..... propellers!

With.... seats!
fucking awesome

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

"i lost my temper in my karate class.. man, im not doing that again till im a black belt
cause let me tell you, theres a difference between taking karate and receiving karate"

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Ea's Party


June 18th, Ea's having a party at her house

Monday, June 06, 2005


So summer came out of nowhere and punched us in the faces eh?

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

This movie looks CRAZY

D-Day vet's story

we were in the museum and there was a big giant screen of a vet talking so we stopped to listen.

(random note: they had a thing about the beach defenses and EVERYTHING on the beach had mines on top of them, rommels asparagus? mined. ramps? mined. Belgian gates? mined. Hedgehogs? mined.)

this is paraphrased except for whatever is actually in quotes. i missed the beginning also.
The whole museum could have been this guy telling his story and i would have been satisfied AND went back.
unfortunatley with my ass memory i'm probably leaving out parts.

i assume the story begins with him getting onto some cover on the beach.

"i saw him wandering around on the beach, and i saw this part of his head [his forehead] was missing a big peice from here, his blonde hair was streaked with blood. I yelled get down but he didnt hear me, he wandered over [somewhere, i dont remember] and sat down and pulled out his rosary and started to pray. Then all of a sudden a machine gunner saw him and cut him in half. Literally cut him in half."

he had part of his face burned or ripped off by a shell, which also wounded a friend of his nearby, so he pulled him to some cover.

another shell landed nearby
"that sent a few fragments through this side of my helmet, and i had blood running down that side, had it hit the other side I would have been dead, so why didnt it hit that side?"

Eventually he and the other guy made it up to the shingle. The other guy looked over and was shot by a sniper.
"we had made it all that way and he got killed then, why not me?"

Eventually the beach was taken. They got a group of twelve wounded men together to go on ahead to continue.
"Why were wounded men fighting? Because no reinforcements were being sent"
they were all being sent to other sections or beaches.

so they came on the first resistance which was six germans in a farmhouse.
"one of those guys was unlucky enough to put his head above the fence and one of the boys shot him, and then we fought them and it was finally ended by a grenade someone threw that took out the rest of them.
We only had 7 guys left after that, not all of them were even killed, some of them died because they were so badly wounded or they just dropped."

They continued on and came to a road where a machine gun was guarding, and it shot down the road at them and wounded him, and killed the other 6 soldiers.

he was laying there taking morphine for the pain, losing blood and eventually a while later an ambulance drove by

"i was laying there and i had no energy, i couldnt yell to them, so i took this submachinegun that i had never fired before, and fired a few shots over them. They got out hands up, then they saw it was one of theirs and they came to get me. They picked me up, one under each arm like this, and the blood just rolled off"
"they put me on the cold floor of the ambulance and i just fell backwards because i had no energy, one of them said that i passed out but i didnt, i could hear them but i couldnt talk."

They took him back to an aid station and he was laying on the floor while they did triage

"all of a sudden some snipers started shoothing, they shot the medics then they started on the wounded, they were going down the line shooting each one, then they got to me and they shot me in the knee, and the next one was going [points between his eyes], but, and i found out the name of this ship the [USS something, i forgot the name] fired at the hills, the shells went over my head and there was all this smoke and dirt, and the snipers were gone."

"I went through all of that and i made it out when so many people died, why me? why did i survive? Maybe just to tell the story, to make sure the story doesnt die."
"So dont let it die."

A new level of awesomeness

i have been wearing the same pair of pants since prom night.

i haven't taken them off once.


Conans awesome.

Vin Diesels on. He used to play D&D when he was 18 and wrote the foreword for a D&D book. So fucking funny.

Conan: See cause I don't really know this game. I'm kind of a "Hungry hungry hippos" guy.

He was describing to conan how Dungeon Masters work and who his D&D character was and Conan just stops him and goes "I think you just ruined your career"