Sunday, July 31, 2005

Layer Cake

Morty, the enforcer guy, has an investment in a sex shop

XXXX (the main character): "do you get guys in here asking for kiddie porn and shit like that?"

Morty:"yeah, we tell them that we have it, but that stuff is too dodgy to be kept on premises so come back when we're closed and we'll give it to them"

XXXX: "and then?"

Morty:"we beat the shit out of them"


For some reason

I immediatley thought of this being ed in a few years

Three men: a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer are helping out on a project. About midweek they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says "Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish."

The hardware engineer went first. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas with no money worries." The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas.

The software engineer went next. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no money worries." The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean.

Last, but not least, it was the project manager's turn. "And what would your wish be?" asked the genie.

"I want them both back after lunch" replied the project manager.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Im watching house of the dead

and is as bad as everyone says

Friday, July 29, 2005

If youve never seen this commercial, you're lucky

But if you have, here is redemption.

kill jamster frog. note the jamster ad on the side


If we ever make a clan... and a site...

Thursday, July 28, 2005

THX-1138 = Awesome Movie

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"Let us be thankful we have commerce. Buy more. Buy more now. Buy. And be happy. "


My dad wants to go play paintball the weekend of august 13th
who can go
parents can come so ask. especially if they have cars.
leave comments.

Fucking Great

...and this is Michael. He's the new ambassador to Funkytown.

Cruise Uncontrol

Pointless Waste of AWESOME

Posted 7.28.05

...or at least a small part of it has. Researchers have are studying reams of footage from Space Shuttle Discovery's cameras to see what exactly fell off the craft during flight.

Engineers can only guess what the debris was. It could be anything from a harmless milkshake or beehive to something important like the Explosion Preventer.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

My job interview

"oh whats that book you're reading"
"im reading this for school"
" you had an interview with one of my employees yesterday, what was his name?"
(i can't remember)
"ok, thank you for your time"

I spent the whole 4.5 mile 95 DEGREE walk home cursing.
Apparently, you (or your partner) don't actually have a right to take doctor-prescribed birth control pills. You just thought you did, says (right-wing-whacko asshole) Rep. Steve King (R-IA). He and a bunch of other Republican buttheads are fighting for pharmacist's right to deny birth control pills to women with legal prescriptions for them

Fucking moron parade

Plan calls for conservative Christians to form government in S.C.

A Texas group wants conservative Christians to move to South Carolina — 12,000 at a time — to form a biblically inspired government and secede from the United States.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Link has spoilers, don't read it.

Indeed, madam, indeed.

I believe this delicate issue can best be summed up by the artiste Pharoahe Monch in his classic diatribe on the matter, "Simon Says"

"Some might say this song is sexist-es
Cause I asked the girls to rub on their breast-eses"

Madam, pray tell. Hath greater poetry ever been put to song? I think not.

I think not.
(just for refrence)
Posted 7.26.05

The 2005 Mother of the Year award has been given to Ivanna Moore, after the decision was made that no better candidates were likely to be revealed during the final five months of the year. Moore, a divorcee from Golden Colorado, is a self-described "cool" mom who keeps the kids at home by being liberal about such things as alcohol in the house and by "showing them a good time" every Friday and Saturday evening. With sex.

"Many parents sit around their empty house at night and worry about their kids," said pageant emcee Bob Hastings. "But at eleven o'clock this mom knows where her kids are, and several other kids as well! If you know what I mean!" The awards are presented by the Mom Is Love Foundation, which was founded in 1987. "MILF stands for a loving, caring approach to motherhood," added Hastings. "Bringing a kid up can be scary and a lot of moms are afraid of blowing it. But tonight's winner shows that it can be done, and not just once! Bada bing!"

The awards are voted on by friends of the nominees' children, and many of them were at the pageant to cheer the women on. "Ivanna... I mean, Mrs. Moore, is the best fuh...I mean the most fun Mom I've ever seen!" said 15-year-old family friend Danny. "I wish every mom could be as fun as her!" "Yeah!" nodded Kane, age 16. "She can, uh, fun the chrome right off a trailer hitch!" "What?" agreed Danny.

Mrs. Moore says she doesn't know what all the fuss is about. "Keeping a roomful of kids happy is pretty easy. A little something to drink, a little something to eat, some good music and plenty of fun things to do. Also, blowjobs."

Hilarious and Holy Shit

Tastes Great.

I once dated a guy that was OCD. He would wash his hands constantly and hated anything touching them. He would not rent movies, he would buy them, because "too many people have touched" the rental ones. I actually bought him some lotion because his hands were very dried out from the excessive washing. He flipped out on me one day, and by flipped out I mean LOST HIS FUCKING MIND, because he said something and my reply was, "Oh you're crazy." He stormed out of my apartment and I didn't talk to him for about two weeks. When I did see him again, it was at a nightclub and he saw me and immediately flipped out again. He was in my face, yelling "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CALLED ME CRAZY!!!" among other obscenities. My girlfriend who was with me held her hand out and introduced herself. She was fully aware of the situation. He just looked at her like, "I don't touch. What the fuck?" and she grabbed his hand and licked it. He. went. apeshit. They had to throw him out of the club. I never saw him again after that little episode.

It tastes like burning

One night we were having a party at my house when Anna grabs me and pulls me into my bathroom, unzips my pants and starts sucking me off. About mid-way to happy time, Anna stops, looks up at me and says "Tell me when you're going to cum because I want you to cum on my face." Needless to say, I have no objections to this and am rather ecstatic about the situation. When I was about to cum, I faithfully let Anna know and she basically let me cover her face. I pull up my pants and offer Anna turns to go back to the party. I ask if maybe she doesn't want a towel, you know, to wipe the jism off of her face. Her reply left me speechless, "No, I want to go out there like this so everyone can see that I give the best blow jobs."

Monday, July 25, 2005

great line i missed in bad boys 2

"anyone ever tell you how crazy us ex delta guys are?"

Saturday, July 23, 2005

"Weeks go by as I chase ghosts and rumors of Chinese workers clicking 12 hours a day. Word has it that 300 farmers are working at computers lined up in airport hangars somewhere in Asia. After all, Lineage II banned certain Chinese IPs for a reason. Finally, I get in contact with a man in his 30s who goes by the name Smooth Criminal. He's a partner in one of the largest sellers of MMORPG gold, and he isn't apologetic. His rap sheet: banned from Ultima Online, Asheron's Call, Shadowbane, Star Wars Galaxies, and Ultima Online again. He says once someone even traded him a wedding ring worth $2,000 for WOW gold.

Smooth Criminal's game cartel made $1.5 million from Star Wars Galaxies alone last year, and individually, he's made as much as $700,000 in a single year. "[SWG] built my new house, which I paid for in cash," he says. "So when you ring my doorbell, it plays the Star Wars music." Smooth Criminal is in charge of writing programs, finding exploits, and locating in-game "dupes" (bugs for duplicating gold or items). "I have a real job, but when there's a dupe, I call in sick," he says. It costs him more money to actually go to his "real job." "When I dupe," Smooth Criminal adds, "I farm billions on every game server and spread out my activities." He then uses three accounts to launder the gold: a duper account, a filter account, and a delivery account—each created using different IPs, credit cards, and computers. This way, it's hard to trace the source, and the gold comes back clean. "

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I would love this shirt so much more

if it just wasnt a ringer.

"they're lesbians, they're not doing it for you"

"yeah, thats what they think"

Ill see you all later

Well today im leaving for the hotel than tommrow im off on a plane towards Illinois and my Basic traning for 6 weeks awates, when im done ill be sure to defentely tell you guys all about it. Keep in tocuh seriosuly u can write to me all you want....lets see if i can dig up a adress

Eichele, Richard 2248
Recruit Traning Comand
3301 Indiana St.
Great Lakes Ill 60088

there it is i belive...
now for some arial photos

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rob "whats quarterly"
me "its three months, its just the montly price times 3"
slasher "no noob, its 4 months, you know...quarterly?"
me "exactly, 12 divided by 4 is three whats wrong with you?"

so me and jerk decided montana is further from the sun so they have 16 month years

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

someone get me this

Krav Maga: The Contact Combat System of the Israel Defense Forces, by David Kahn.
I don't expect to really learn anything from the book, but I wanted a greater understanding of what's involved. There's a local class in September that I'm planning to take.

notes on Arnhem

fucking great.

the guy getting run over was the single greatest machinima scene ever.

the glowy effect made the beginning look really good.

the black and white effect helped compensate for crappy textures

LOTS of screaming and ambient sounds and shooting REALLY loud made the initial battle fucking perfect.

random stunt video at the end also very cool.

not enough contrast or something, the execution scene made it very hard to tell the difference between the americans and the germans.
"The Sand People are easily beaten at foosball, but they'll soon be back, and in greater numbers."

Monday, July 18, 2005

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Electronic Paper

Taken from PC Pro News:

Forever just on the horizon, but year after year never getting closer. As well as holographic displays and integrated speech processing and pervasive computing, you could add electronic paper to the set of key technologies that seem to be always just out of reach.

But maybe electronic paper is about to roll up and plug in to an office near you. Following work by Philips early last year - Philips rolls out flexible displays - Fujitsu Labs have announced a research breakthrough.

Describing it as the world's first 'film substrate-based bendable colour electronic paper with an image memory function', the electronic paper is thin, flexible,
and lightweight. As it doesn't require electricity except during image changes, Fujitsu is also proclaiming its low power consumption.

The Japanese researchers claim it could be used wherever paper is currently used, such as for advertisements or information bulletins in public places. It can also be used in conjunction with mobile devices as an easy-to-read and portable display device.

The paper is constructed of three display layers - red, blue, and green - and since no colour filters or polarizing layers are required, the colours should be more vivid than conventional reflective-type LCDs.

Also, according to Fujitsu, colours are unaffected when the screen is bent or pressed with fingers, and because the image doesn't require repetitive updates to be maintained, the screen should not flicker.

The futuristic Fujitsu paper showcases at Fujitsu Forum 2005, at the Tokyo International Forum, 14 July. Commercial applications are expected before March 2007.
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Thursday, July 14, 2005

im off to see Enron: The Smartest Guys in the room

i've become disillusioned with life, bored depressesed, disappointed and angry

im not sure what disillusioned means but it sounds like something that would describe how i feel. i think.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Sunday, July 03, 2005

"Love is blind but lingere is still good"
stealth is going to be a shitty movie

it should be

a story about jessica beal(sp?) waking up with no clothes anywhere to be found, and her epic quest to find clothes.
there will be a scene where it is raining and she runs down the block toward the clothing store and a missle blows it up.
then she runs back the other the rain.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

I nearly pissed myself

Friday, July 01, 2005

Oh yea....

Hell yea. And another 6 more this fall.