Tuesday, August 30, 2005





Monday, August 29, 2005

Somebody tell me how to upload pictures on deadjournal..





These are just teasers. I took 2 dozen pictures of my room.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

I win...

I get the points because I'm online before Ed. Go me. Crazy college stories to follow.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

What have you had enough of?

I've had enough of hookups, heartbreaks, lies, and games. I've had enough of people who want ass just for the sake of getting ass and dont give a damn about the person they are getting it from. I've had enough of girls who think their worth is measured by whats between their legs. I've had enough of guys who think that because they have a penis, they get to make the rules.

I've had enough of "drama", as some of you so nicely it put it. I've had enough of false loyalties and fake promises. I've had enough of people who think that its their way or the highway. I've had enough of arrogance, bigotry, and stereotypes. I've had enough of people who hate themselves. I've had enough of people who hate eachother.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

this week's movie glossary
When unsuspecting victims are flattened by a speeding truck, the scene is always the same: Filmed from the side at a 90-degree angle to the street, so the truck runs directly across the screen from one side to the other; the person just stands there and gets wiped out. Why didn't the victim see or hear the truck coming, and why didn't the driver see the victim? This is related to the Helicopter on Mute Syndrome, in which a helicopter suddenly appears in the scene, totally unseen and unheard until it is right on top of the hero.
JOE KAPPES, PLANO, TEXAS

Monday, August 22, 2005

John claims that here he told the guards that he could not speak English and when this failed to persuade them, he faked a violent seizure.

I am unclear as to the purpose of this part of his plan.

John flung himself down and began rolling around in the snow, thrashing his limbs about and screaming, "EL SEIZURE!!! NO ES BUENO!!!"

The only quote better than

Frank Burns saying "Its nice to be nice....to the nice":

"yep. Thanks for calling us, Drake. You're the kind of man a man wants when a man wants a man."

Sunday, August 21, 2005

MUHAHAHAHHA

Bet you never thought you'd see me here again lol

Just wanted to bitch about how cheap people are. At work we're trying to get $1 donations for Jerry's Kids (to help kids with muscular dystrophy) and its ridiculous how few people are willing to give up a dollar but have no problem spending $200 on junk food. Then they say something like "oh i give money to lots of other charities" because they dont want you to judge them as a bad person. Listen if you're gonna be cheap at least be fucing honest about it.

I have two personal favorite excuses today: One lady told me that her "thing is cancer". Ok so u cant give a dollar to help these kids because they dont have cancer? Then this other person said she donates hundreds of dollars a year to help stray dogs. I love dogs as much as the next person but i mean comn you're gonna tell me you can give all this to dogs but u wont give up a fucking dollar for a sick kids.

You wanna know who did give money? Little old ladies with change in their purses. Pregnant women with hordes of kids at their heels. Grumpy looking men who just really want someone to smile at them. Teenagers pick up a few things fo their parents. These are the people that give a damn. These are the people we need more of. Screw the selfish suit and tie assholes

The Island

Steve Buccemi is awesome.

"Whats god?"

Steve: "You know... god. When you want something really bad, and you close your eyes and wish for it. He's the one who ignores you."

"Look look I know your new to this whole human experience but theres one universal truth: You never give a woman your credit card"

John Dies at the End, Best story EVER

I am a retired priest. Did you know that?"

John asked, "are you one of those priests who can shoot lasers out of their eyes? Because that would be really helpful right now."

--

I stared hard into the face of the older man, said, "okay, there is no possible combination of English words that would form a dumber plan than that."

Saturday, August 20, 2005

DEMOS

ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED ED

I found some client-side files that might be helpful, but i don't know what they mean.
use your magic and decipher them.

They're in Menu_server.zip (HUD folder) along with Nametags

HudElementsDemoCameraComm
HudElementsDemoPlayerName
HudElementsDemoRecComm

and of course nametags

stupid programming languages, why can't it just be ChangeThisOneToZero.con

Friday, August 19, 2005

ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIME!

the devs over at WWII Online are upgrading their lame ass graphic engine. Doesn't sound like it will be BF2 or HL2 but goddamn it's a start. They have a free 5 day trial coming up on the 24th since their new expansion packs out. Gonna try it and hope for the best.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Deuce Bigalow

The movie created a spot of controversy last February. According to a story by Larry Carroll of MTV News, Rob Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times listed this year's Best Picture Nominees and wrote that they were "ignored, unloved and turned down flat by most of the same studios that ... bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to 'Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo,' a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic."

Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: "Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind ... Maybe you didn't win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven't invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who's Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers."

Reading this, I was about to observe that Schneider can dish it out but he can't take it. Then I found he's not so good at dishing it out, either. I went online and found that Patrick Goldstein has won a National Headliner Award, a Los Angeles Press Club Award, a RockCritics.com award, and the Publicists' Guild award for lifetime achievement.

Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor, but lost to Jar-Jar Binks.

But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" while passing on the opportunity to participate in "Million Dollar Baby," "Ray," "The Aviator," "Sideways" and "Finding Neverland." As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.

DAMN HIM

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Penguin Promoted

"Norway has recently bestowed one of its most prestigious military honors on a penguin. The regal King penguin, known as Nils Olav, has been promoted to the rank of honorable regimental sergeant major."
Penguin Promotion
i saw something about a penguin recieving honors on the spanish news, had to look it up

from bloodrayne-themovie.com

Added a couple of hi rez photos of Uwe Boll in the download section,
and we have a new link "www.bollfans.com"
So make sure you check those things out.

Well we have a few things to let you guys know,
firstly many have probarly heard about the win a dinner date with Kristanna Loken and 5 roles in one of Uwe Boll's upcoming films.
- This is a true fact and more can be found at bollfans.com which is in the links section.

---
from google's CACHED (i couldn't bring myself to go to the actual page)version of bollfans.net

If you want to participate, send your application including address and photo of you by e-mail to the following address: Agents2005@bollfans.com
-----------------------------------------------------------
Conditions:
- you are at least 16 years old

You get:
- ID Boll Agent Card
- many Bloodrayne advertising-sets (consisting of shirts, posters, postcards, caps and many more...)


WHY WOULD I WANT TO BE A BOLL AGENT
FUCKING CHRIST THIS IS DEPRESSING AND EVIL AND AJFDKSALF;FJDKSAL;FJSKDL;JFKADSL;
TechDirt
has a good article about anti-israeli games, and this link has links to a few games, like Special Force, which only has a shitty video that doesnt work, and just screams terrorism, and Under Siege
which i downloaded the beta for, and just...they should call it beta after its released, cause they're...way behind. SOF 1 graphics (if that), running animations the likes of which we have not seen since simcopter (yeah rob, they look exactly like that) and...just play it.
oh yeah, the israelis have the best special forces in the world for a reason, and that reason is out of necessity, because you can hear their footsteps ANYWHERE in the map.

wormvirus

http://www.wired.com/news/technology/0,1282,68552,00.html?tw=rss.TOP

"Among companies affected by the worm and its variations were ABC, CNN, The Associated Press, The New York Times and Caterpillar Inc. In California, San Diego County said it needed to cleanse 12,000 computers of the bug. ABC News producers had to use electric typewriters Tuesday to prepare copy for their World News Tonight broadcast, according to spokesman Jeffrey Schneider."

University Machine



Ed: people go in up there, they are givin a diploma and they come out as... what?
Ed: oh
Ed: no...
ElBifin: no
ElBifin: they're graduates
ElBifin: who couldn't get jobs after high school so they cling to their last remnants of security
Ed: ah
ElBifin: until they sacrifice themselves for the final good cause
Ed: which is?
ElBifin: making universities for un-morons
Ed: mmmm
Ed: SJU?
ElBifin: saint johns
Ed: non-morons you say?
ElBifin: no, thats a failed experiment
ElBifin: this is the unedited picture, the gov't version is doctored, fuckers
ElBifin: hiding the truth
Ed: WHY MUST THEY ALWAYS DO THAT!!
ElBifin: can't own up to their mistakes
ElBifin: fuckin right-wing commie pinkos

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

WHY THE WORLD NEEDS GUYS

"Because guys are always meeting challenges that we didn't even know existed."

-dave barry

the question is, what is the previous ice cream stick record?

Its all in the textures right?

go ahead and look at the full view, amazing.

Two news skims

The New Face of Terror...
...has emerged in recent weeks, and it's the face of an exploding baby. “Exploding babies will use any means necessary to destroy our way of life,” stated one Homeland Security official. “But their preferred method seems to be by exploding.”

Lego Lovers Unite in Arlington
Thumbnail photoWhat happens when the world's biggest Lego fans gather to display their sculptures? Airport security dismantles one model and reassembles it at random.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

funny

sexyland customer service stories

key quote: "Hez: Sir, are you calling me a fag and ordering a tranny video at the same time?"

JDatE

Jennifer put up her hands, said, "let's not, uh, make this a dick measuring contest, guys."

There was silence for a moment, then John said, "that's good, because it wouldn't be no contest at all."

Silence again.

"That is, I'm referring to my cock being bigger than either of yours."

Big Jim hesitated, then said, "shit. My cock's cock is bigger than your cock."

John retorted, "you don't even exist. We're all just a figment of my cock's imagination."

JDatE

Monday, August 15, 2005

Morgan Freeman

great quote

"God is just an imaginary friend for grownups"
I'm reading all these things on videogames in case you're wondering where this is coming from...

Ed swear to me on your God, if you have one, that you will make a game that when you have to blow something up, you get a chance to do it, then if you fuck it up, a second chance to do it, like at another area or whatever, but if you fail the second time, you fail the mission, have to get out and are on to another part, so there's much replayability and novelty and stuff. you know what i mean. swear.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

"Today that little boy washes his fleet of Bentleys in champagne, and walks on paths paved with naked women."

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Hey look, Ed is back for a week...

I would love showering with 40 naked guys...

Because anybody would shower with 40 dressed guys?

Lox Box

«Lox Box Radio is the sound of the future.»

Friday, August 12, 2005

I got the same letter

he also hates showering with 40 naked guys

I got a letter from Richie...

He hates ironing his undies.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Still the greatest comic

iMDb boards are morons

Projectionist_mok817:

"if you want to know if a movie is good just ask me i am after all a PROJECTIONIST"

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

So my moms $150 pink flamingo candles gone and theres a dustpan in the bathroom. She es muy angry.
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Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Monday, August 08, 2005

http://www.deviantart.com/view/1327727/
After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.

Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.

"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.

He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.

Naturally, the guy began to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.

"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.

"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.

Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."

Saturday, August 06, 2005

generated by sloganizer.net
«Nobody does it like jerkfish.»

Fucking GENIUS

http://albinoblacksheep.com/flash/galileo

Friday, August 05, 2005

Lego Star Wars = AWESOME

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A man walks into a sex shop and asks for a sex doll.

"White or black" asks the shop keeper, "white" says the man. "Blonde of brunett" ask the shop owner, "brunnet" says the man, "christian or muslim" askes the shop keeper, "Whats the difference?" asks the man.

"The muslin ones blow them selves up."
http://www.engadget.com/entry/1234000733053361/

Dumbasses give Rockstar List of demands

The first thing you need to do if you’re going to lead a protest is come up with a list of demands that are: A) somehow related to what you are protesting B) not outrageously moronic.

Apparently, someone forgot to tell the idiotically named Peaceholics about those rules. The group plan to protest Rockstar’s upcoming video game Bully next week, giving them a list of demands that seem more fitting as a lame joke then something meant to spur serious discussion.

Peaceoholics List of Demands for Rock Star Games

# Not to release Bully under any circumstances
# Volunteer to sell its violent and sexually explicit games in adult video stores only.
# Let parents return Grand Theft Auto for a full refund until they do a national awareness campaign to educate parents of content and possible effects.
# Create a fund for victims of unauthorized use of a motor vehicle and car-jackings, etc.
# Make a national apology for misleading and lying to children, parents, and legislators about their intentions and causing insurance premiums to sky rocket.
# Give a written response within five business days of receipt of these demands.

Kotaku.com

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Here you go steve

The ink bubble. Was it worth it?

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Man I fucked up my Galaxies math paper. Notice the nice 1.8 mill im gonna make in a week? Fuck yea.

Thats zen right there

Skype Skype

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Cinematography like a Fox (Layer Cake)

































Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Ya

So my family is going to Alabama on I believe the 4th for a week and I get to watch the house and take care of the pets. On either Friday or Saturday let us all hang out at my house. Steve can bring video games, we can all bring movies. Laura can come and make food. Only downsides are 1) It may or may not be hot that day. I have no AC downstairs and no way in hell am I moving my AC again. 2) Pretty sure I wont be able to give any rides or pick anyone up so you would all need to have a way to my house.

So make it so.

Also. Even though my parents trust me I didnt want to go ahead and tell them "Hey the day after you leave the state im inviting all my friends over" so chances are I wont have any junk food or money for junk food.

Time: Whenever - Whenever. I usually sleep till like noon earliest and i dont give a crap when you all leave.

Monday, August 01, 2005

wow