Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Silliness

Understanding woman-speak…
1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut the fuck up.

2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch tv before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with ‘nothing’ usually end in ‘fine’.

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. For fuck’s sake, don’t do it!

5.) Loud Sigh : This isn’t actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about ‘nothing’. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say, ‘You’re welcome.’

8.) Whatever : Is a women’s way of saying FUCK YOU!

9.) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response, refer to #3 then RUN!

3 Comments:

Blogger Ed Pereira said...

So I was just thinking, "Meh, cliche list, whatever..."

But now I wonder how old stuff like this is. How far does this psychological warfare date back to. Did cave women go "ugh" when a caveman was being insensitive, only to his complete confusion as to what the fuck "ugh" means?

2:31 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

No hun, only psycho bitch women do this. Normal females mean what they say and decoding is not needed.

6:09 PM  
Blogger Richard Eichele said...

im sure

3:22 AM  

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